Breaking the Stoic Script: Men, Stress, and the Nervous System

Men often keep it quiet, yet they carry just as much need for stillness and care. Most won’t put it into words, but stress always finds expression - in the jaw that never softens, the shoulders that stay slightly lifted, the breath that hovers just out of reach of depth.

Science shows us what these subtleties mean.

The hormonal stress pathway, known as the HPA-axis, tends to activate more strongly in men, which means their bodies can stay “switched on” for longer. Over time, this contributes to what researchers call allostatic load - the cumulative wear and tear from living in survival mode.

High allostatic load has been linked with cardiovascular disease, weakened immunity, and even structural changes in the brain.

One study from the University of California found that men experiencing long-term financial strain carried significantly higher markers of inflammation, a biological fingerprint of stress that lingers beneath the surface of daily life.

We don’t need another reminder that “the body keeps score.” What feels more important is asking: what is the cost when stress is never given space to release? For many men, it doesn’t surface in conversations about feelings. It appears as restless sleep, irritability, gut issues, fatigue, or a jaw that simply won’t let go.

Part of this comes from the cultural script men are handed. Dependability often gets equated with stoicism, and needing care is seen as indulgent. Unlike women, who are usually encouraged to seek support and express overwhelm, men are rarely given the same permission. Instead, stress gets contained, absorbed into the nervous system, carried forward in silence. But biology doesn’t recognise cultural expectation — it only responds. And when the system is left on high alert, it narrows a man’s capacity for presence, both with himself and with those he loves.

That’s why this conversation matters for Father’s Day. It’s easy to celebrate men for their endurance — the tools, the whisky, the watch. But what if we shifted the focus? What if we celebrated men not just for what they hold, but for what they allow themselves to release?

When men find safe spaces to reset, they don’t only bring relief to themselves — they model something important for their families. They show that strength is not only in carrying on, but in knowing when to pause, to soften, to receive.

This Father’s Day, perhaps the most meaningful gift isn’t another thing, but an experience. A space where the jaw can unclench, the breath can deepen, and the nervous system can remember what regulation feels like again. Because regulation isn’t indulgence — it’s biology. And men need it just as much as anyone else.

My treatments are designed to create that kind of reset - a reminder that even the strongest shoulders deserve to rest. 

Give the gift of release this Father’s Day — book a treatment for yourself or surprise someone you love with a gift voucher, and offer the reset every man deserves.